She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
