Ketchup is God's man juice
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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