I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Barsexuality is the new black.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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