I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
