i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
