Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
