What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
