yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish you could order shots online.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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