You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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