how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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