I hate all girls vehemently.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
