Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
