You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
