3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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