She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
its liver damage thursday
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