Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
