I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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