At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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