idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
