she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he was CRYING into my vagina
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
