Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
