There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
