Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
