sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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