don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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