Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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