I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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