What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
