Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
