All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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