That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
