I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
