So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
