I heard we made out
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
