He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
