Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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