so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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