Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
