I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
