I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Everything about him screamed your future.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Randomize
