I'll bet she douches with gravy.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
