she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
