is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize