So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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