My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
