If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just pee around me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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