Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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