I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
