whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
