There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
