so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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