just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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