I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
