I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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