i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
