I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
