Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
