16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
