the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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