P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
