we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
