not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
