I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
