Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Randomize