U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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