he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
