She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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