Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
